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    A Random Piece of Uselessness:

    The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. -- W. C. Fields


    LOLZ 4 U:


    Useless Factoid:

    The Internet Quality Task Force has reported that the worst internet connections are found at Your House.



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  • Latest USELESS.COM News Feed RSS

    Famous Cop Statue Stolen Right Off the Street [People will steal anything, even if it is nailed down]

    Cop Who "Discovered" Fake-ass Bigfoot Will Soon be an Ex-cop [The truth is out there]

    Granny Busts Would-be Burglar [Go ahead sonny, make my day]

    Bodybuilding Firefighter Argues That He's 'Disabled'. [Dept. of scamming the system]

    GPS-equipped Turtle Locates DC Pot Stash [But can it find me a parking space downtown?]

    Microsoft Wants You to Advertise "Duck Porn" on its Sites [Can't wait to see what PETA thinks of that]

    Court Rules "Boobs on Bikes" Parade Not Offensive [The real boobs are the ones trying to ban it]

    Hit-and-Run Suspect Tracked by a Trail of Pasta [Dept of stupid criminals]


    Weekend at Bernies, Spanish Edition [He was the biggest sitff at the party]

    Russians Still Looking to Start W W III. Ukraine is Next [Don't feed or molest the bears]

    Mexican Church Says Miniskirts Equal Prostitution [Bet they really like their choirboys]

    Islam, the religion of peace [Religion is the opiate of the masses]

    US Govt. Tells Samsung It's New Washing Machines Must be Approved "As Pesticide"! [Nanotechnology meets the bureaucracy]

    Shatner Will Say Almost Anything on Camera -- for $150 [Beam up my toupee, Scotty]

    Baseball Group Gives Pedophile an Award, Then Wants it Back [Dept. of Closing the Barn Door After the Horse Has Left]

    Aussie Mayor: Ugly, lonely women should move here. We'll put a smile on their faces. [Isn't that the whole premise of "Men in Trees"?]

    Malaysian Govt: Avril is "too sexy for us". Concert cancelled. [I'm too sexy for my Burqa]

    Damien Hirst Plans to Stop Producing So Much Crappy Art [There is a reason he was named DAMIEN]

    Evangelicals Upset Over China Bible Flap [I don't care if it rains or freezes, long as I have my plastic Jesus]

    The Oldest Person on Facebook? [She may be 102 but she's still got lots of "friends"]

    Older stories are available at our FriendFeed site.